Fertility Clinic Test Results

Well, we've been to get our results.  My DH SA came back normal....hooray!!!!!!  My AHM test confirmed that the only way I am going to get pregnant is by donor egg.  My PCT don't do this on the NHS unless there are exceptional circumstances.  I can't ask either of my sisters for eggs as my youngest has no kids and the other has a baby and will obviously have another.  We have basically be sent off to find out about egg donation.  We have no money so we don't know really where to go from here.  The fact that a legitimate procedure is being denied to me on the NHS when I have a life altering medical condition is appalling.  The one thing that people who have never had to encounter fail to realise is the way in which it completely changes your life.  There is no other medical condition that creates this reaction.  In fact I have found that the ripples it causes are far worse than the desire for a baby itself.  I may even think about moving house. 

Happy New Year

Just a note to wish all my readers a Happy 2012.  This Xmas period has been hard.  On Xmas Eve, I finally picked up the phone to my mum and I openly told her how I felt.  I explained how I felt that her e-mail completely belittled me and the huge situation I have to face.  She apologised unreservedly and we wept buckets.  My sister who had the baby even rang me shortly afterwards to say that 'she knew how I felt and there was no pressure'.  I have to say it felt great to confront my mum and get it out in the open.
On Wednesday 28th, my parents and my youngest sister met up and we had a lovely day.  We just enjoyed each others company and it wasn't about the baby, even though obviously he was mentioned.  I sent up Xmas pressies, including a ladybird rattle for him.  It feels like a weight off my mind.