Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Tyrannosaur (plot spoiler)

I just had to write about this amazing British film starring Olivia Colman as a Christian charity shop manager Hannah.  She befriends a brash alcoholic widower Joseph, who she finds collapsed infront of her shop after having being assaulted.  At first he berates her for being a posh idealist who knows little about life.  He asks her why she set up her shop and why she isn't with her husband and kids.  She plucks up all her courage and says 'we can't have them'.  She scoffs at her disbelievingly.  He leaves her in tears.  The next day he returns to appologise.  It turns out that her husband is a violent psychopath who beats and rapes her.  On seeing her  bruised face, Joseph takes her in; and whilst she's out he takes her keys and goes to her house.  He finds her husband's corpse drenched in blood.  It transpires that she killed him in a row, and that he had sexually assaulted her with glass and now she is infertile.  Her portrayal of an infertile woman, traumatised by the terrible way she ended up in that situation was utterly believable, her whistful glances at a mother and child in the park were not theatrical, but understated.  Well done!!!!

Guardian Article: I May Not Be A Mother But I Am Still A Person

This article is great! For me, it is not just not being able to have a baby that hurts, but the way infertile women are treated that really grates me.  I could have have 8 degrees, a billion pound empire, have travelled around the world etc, but in a room full of people, I will be asked if I have kids I say 'no' and the person asking will walk away.   


Friday, 17 February 2012

Daily Mail: Baby Envy, The New Social Divide

 Unbelievable, just when I thought the Daily Mail had previously written a supportive article about those going through infertility, this piece of literary trash is published.  There is a reason why many infertile women find it easier to sometimes be away from social crowds.  Sometimes the inability to have a baby is secondary to the way people treat you for being childless.  Many folks can't believe that childless wome exist.


Fertility Quango sits on £3.4m as thousands of women are refused IVF

Guys, this is a scandal.  We are all tax payers, yet some of us are being denied the treatment that we need, in many cases for major issues.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Woman in Black (spoiler)

Hi guys,

After yesterday's news DH and I decided to see Woman in Black.  It concerned a young widower lawyer, played by Daniel Radcliffe, who is called up to a barren wilderness on the north east coast to arrange the paperwork for a house sale after the owner died.  The locals firmly discourage him from going there, and he ignores them.  Once there he encounters sinister paranormal activity and a strange figure in black.  Throughout his stay several local children die in horrific circumstances.  It transpires that this situation is not new, and practically every local family has suffered.  These events have usually occurred after somebody has been near the house and has seen the woman in black.  As the lawyer files the paperwork at the house, he finds out that a young boy drowned in the mud, whilst with his 'mother'. His body was never recovered.  It turns out that his 'mother ' was not his mum, but his aunt who removed him from his real mother's care after she was considered unfit, and he was brought up not knowing the truth.  His real mum saw the accident when the coach he and her sister were travelling in overturned.  According to her, the boy could have been saved but her sister was too selfish to save him.  The distraught mother hung herself in the nursery and haunted it ever since, and reeked a terrible revenge by taking local children.  The lawyer knows his son and nanny are coming to see him, and quickly jumps into the mud to retrieve the corpse of the boy and reunite it with that of the mother, in an attempt to save his own son, who is at risk as his dad saw the ghost.  In the end, at the train station, the ghost distracts the lawyer and nanny and the son jumps onto the train tracks and the lawyer jumps to save him, both are killed and are reunited with his dead wife.
This film fascinates me as it shows a clear depiction of a mad childless woman (typical!), but also a selfish parent, as the lawyer only 'helped' the ghost to save his own son, not to help her.

Sutton PCT and DEIVF

Hi guys,

Giving you an update.  To be honest I am feeling completely numb and I am going to need some time to think about our next steps.  I received a letter from the head of the ACU at Queen Mary's Roehampton.  The letter basically said that because my postcode doesn't fall within Wandsworth, any funding would be done via Sutton PCT, and would I like to referred over.  I rang the ACU at St Helier, Sutton and I was informed that my PCT stopped all referrals for IVF, regardless of patients' medical background, on April 30th 2011.  As a result I have no funding even though I have a legitimate medical issue that has led to my infertility in the first place.  I have to say I am beyond gutted by this news, and spent a good deal of yesterday afternoon in tears.  I am so mad at Sutton PCT right now.  I am a tax payer and yet they are denying me the treatment I need.  I am seriously aiming to name and shame them!  This has now left us with the following options:

A) Do nothing.
B) Complain via PALS.
C) Adopt.
D) Move house.
E) Go private.

At the moment, options E and A are a no go, we do not have the funds to go private.  I am going to start work on my case and get researching. 
More to the point, I don't even know if I am going to get my hysteroscopy on the NHS.  It is worth noting that the ACU staff at Roehampton referred me for this as a shadow was found on my scan.  This shadow could be anything froma polyp to a tumour! 
I am not going down without a fight on this issue.  

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Fertility Clinic Test Results

Well, we've been to get our results.  My DH SA came back normal....hooray!!!!!!  My AHM test confirmed that the only way I am going to get pregnant is by donor egg.  My PCT don't do this on the NHS unless there are exceptional circumstances.  I can't ask either of my sisters for eggs as my youngest has no kids and the other has a baby and will obviously have another.  We have basically be sent off to find out about egg donation.  We have no money so we don't know really where to go from here.  The fact that a legitimate procedure is being denied to me on the NHS when I have a life altering medical condition is appalling.  The one thing that people who have never had to encounter fail to realise is the way in which it completely changes your life.  There is no other medical condition that creates this reaction.  In fact I have found that the ripples it causes are far worse than the desire for a baby itself.  I may even think about moving house.