Octomum (Nadya Suleman) article about how she 'hates her kids'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2009524/Octomom-Nadya-Suleman-I-hate-babies-older-children-animals.html

I am quite shocked but not surprised by this article.  Octomum, Nadya Suleman, has made an emotional outburst about how she hates her 14 children.  Yes, having so many kids and being a single parent must be an unbelievable burden but after six kids she chose to have IVF to have eight more.  It is women like her who give IVF a bad name when there are couples who desperately want a family and can't due to legitimate medical grounds. Such misuse of this treatment gives IVF users a bad name. 

My folks called...ongoing acceptance of other's pregnancies when infertile

Well, it was actually my dad who called me last night.  He briefly asked how I am and said that all the family are well.  Within a minute (seriously) he asked if I was talking to my sister and how she needed my support and how much she has matured to the extent that she was being very mindful about me. 
Firstly, I absolutely agree with the sentiment that she has matured.  She hasn't plastered Facebook pictures and announcements etc, and this is something I am completely grateful for.  I guess it is just unrealistic for me to sweep it under the carpet. I guess I am just devestated that I don't get to make either of my or DH parents granparents first, and I am so hurt by that fact.  My mum then spoke to me and after a quick chat about the animals and work etc she said that  she had received pictures of my sister with her new bump.  I just said 'oh, that's nice.'  Mum quickly changed the subject, knowing that she couldn't hide how excited she is to be a granny-to-be. I guess in my situation, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, if my folks are too near then they are 'in my face' but if I am too far away then 'I am rejected'.  I guess it is going to be a long journey in dealing with family pregnancies, and it isn't just my journey but my family's journey too.  Wow, it has struck me how my tone has changed, maybe I am progressing!!

Stats

One of the things I love about blogging is reading the stats from where my readers come from.  I have now got readers from all the continents except Antarctica!!! I am so excited about this, that people from all over the world, including some places I have never heard about are reading my little blog...incredible!! 

TS Awareness Day

I have just been informed by a friend in the USA  that July 15th 2011 is TS Awareness Day.  Wow, we seem to have a lot of these days but as a well known cosmetics brand says 'You're Worth It!'.  

My mum wants to talk....again. Serious moral dilema.

Well, my mum wants to talk on Monday evening.  I am guessing that she and dad are planning to book tickets soon to ensure they can be here for the festive period when my sister is due.  I would imagine that she is going to get me to try and commit to seeing them as soon as possible.  This year is so hard, my dilema is on my DH side there will be two new babies this Xmas and there is the added issue that we have recently been told that my MIL has bone cancer and her prognosis is five years.  This means that very understandably she is going to want to spend special family times together etc, and of course that means that I will expected to be there.  Since this prognosis she has become very lucid verbally due to her strong medication and she has been saying certain things that she would never usually do e.g. the comment about me giving her a cute baby.  I am terrified that she is going to say to us that she wants at least one grandchild from each of us before she passes away, and she has already started hinting.  To be honest, to try and reach a  middle ground I might just  try and see my inlaws a couple of days after Xmas, so they have already made a huge fuss about the babies and the others won't be there, so at least we can see them.  Hopefully, if I tell my mum that then the pressure will be off me to see my sister.  I feel a real bitch for doing that but this situation is so hard, as if I want to start getting emotional around them and detracting from the real happiness of the season.  Furthermore, I want to enjoy my Xmas, and not be forced into extremely tough and potentially hostile situations.  Is that so wrong or am I being selfish??

My sister's pregnancy...again

Well I was on the train going into work when I received a text from my sister saying that she had had her first scan and all is well, which is obviously good news.  I replied with a simple 'Congrats xx'.  She replied by saying that as she is due on Boxing Day, my parents are trying to come over.  To be honest I am dreading this Xmas, on my DH side there will be two babies celebrating their first Xmas and my sister is due on my side.  I just want to curl up under a rock or book a couple of days away at a spa for some pampering just by myself with my phone turned off during the holidays. My DH was great this evening I feel just so angry that I am supposed to just grin and bear it and support everybody else when there is no support coming my way.  It sucks.  Sorry for the me-post but I am seriously hormonal....lol xx

Another phonecall from my mum

Well, the other night I had a call from my mum who asked why I hadn't called my sister.  I was quite irritated by this as she knows that we have never been close.  She was expecting me to call her every three weeks to ask her how things were going with her pregnancy.  I can't deny that the whole issue makes me feel very uncomfortable and that it has made me less inclined to talk to her.  However, it is not as simple as that.  I have really discovered that when you are a childless woman you have to be so careful around those with kids and pregnant women.
I teach and I have had some strange interaction with mums in my time, some of them are extremely possessive about their kids.  Hey, I guess I would be too, but it can start some hefty conversations about why I teach when I have no children and I can't possibly understand kids when I have none of my own.  It just seems we can't be accepted however we deal with it.  If we try and be involved and be the kind auntie then we are branded  desperate and are trying to steal the children away, like my DH aunt.  She is childless and has always had a wonderful relationship with her niece and nephews.  However, she is now treated like some kind of work mule to care for her aging parents, after all, she has no kids so she has all the time in the world!!!!!!!!!!  When she is exhausted nobody supports her at all and she is told that she has chosen to be that way!!!!!!  On the other hand if we try and distance ourselves then we are seen as bitter. 
I tried to point out to my mum that this pregnancy hasn't altered things between my sister and I, we were never that close and that I feel that pregnancy is a private thing.  It is so refreshing to see that my sister hasn't posted god knows what on Facebook.  I respect her for that.  I then pointed out that if the reverse was true and we decided to go for IVF or adopt, we would say nothing at all.  It a decision between my DH and I.  Likewise, I never expect anybody to talk about my TS.  Well, I can't expect a mum of three to understand really can I??

Father's Day

Hi everybody.
I hope you all got through yesterday.  I texted my Dad and worked throughout the day.  My DH went to his parents house for a curry.  I asked him yesterday how he was feeling.  He said he was ok, but I think at least at some point yesterday he might have thought about it.  He is very good with his feelings usually.  I might chat with him again tonight to see if anything was going on.  His brother who has a baby wasn't there and I'm a little glad because I think there would have been some fuss about the whole issue of the first Father's Day.  I did feel a little sad reading the local paper this week that was covered in First Father's Day announcements.  I find Father's Day harder to deal with then Mother's Day as I am so aware that it is my fault that I am denying my DH a child and my body is affecting his life.  Anyhow....onwards and upwards.

Father's Day coming up

Well, it's that time of year.  Yesterday, I was on the train reading the paper and a huge 12 page Father's Day offers pullout drops into my lap.  Yes, I know we live in the world where 80% of people can have a family, but it still hurt.  I am having a rough one this year because my DH is the only male member of his family not being a Dad or a Dad-to-be.  He is going to see his dad on Sunday and I hope nothing is said.  Thank goodness I won't be there.  I  hope he can just brush it off.  At least we have our appointment in August.  Sorry for the me-post but I find Father's Day so much worse than Mother's Day as it reminds me of what I can't give my husband.  

Mother donates womb to infertile daughter

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-13752288
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2002938/Sara-Ottosson-Womb-transplant-mother-offer-25-year-old-chance-baby.html
 http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/jun/13/uk-mother-agrees-donate-womb-daughter

This story is incredible.  A mum has decided to donate her womb to her daughter who was born without various reproductive organs.  In effect, the daughter could give birth using the same womb that carried her.  Wow!  I naturally do hope it works but it is major surgery for both parties and previous attempts have sadly failed.  It is amazing how far some people will go to bear children, which means that it must be such a primeval experience. Good luck to them!

Turner's Syndrome Connections

Just giving a big shout out there as there is a new TS support website is town.  I've added it to my blogroll, but being a complete technophobe I'm pretty useless so I've added the link here too.

http://www.turnersyndromeconnections.co.uk/

Play Script- Part 2

I went to the reading of the script with the pregnant character and I got through it well, I wasn't asked to imagine how it would feel etc, so that made it easy.  I guess it would have been a different story if that had been a poignant part of the exercise.  I did however feel uncomfortable with the several 'belly hold' stage directions involved.  The script was written by a mother of two, never mind.

More than 70 per cent of NHS trusts break rules to deny IVF – Part 2

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1395082/Three-quarters-health-trusts-refuse-couples-IVF-treatment-blanket-ban.html

This is a complete scandal.  Infertile people pay just as much tax as anybody else so why are they denied this treatment that  they need through no fault of their own e.g. cancer, cardiac issues etc.  This is the same with breast augmentation.  So many people believe that these are cosmetic procedures they forget that in many cases there are medical issues behind them. Female cancer survivors will be left infertile with holes in their chests because there will be no distinction between cosmetic and medical need when these departments are cut.  What kind of country do we live in where one person's money is valued more than another persons?  The NHS should be funding everything as one never knows when a medical issue may affect them.  Why not raise taxes for the richest people? In these economic times why should some be allowed to amass huge fortunes?  What is even more disgusting is the everyday folk who struggle to get by are being forced to make cut throat decisions to save themselves and effectively not give a toss about others.

More than 70 per cent of NHS trusts break rules to deny IVF – and save money

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/more-than-70-per-cent-of-nhs-trusts-break-rules-to-deny-ivf-ndash-and-save-money-2293848.html

I saw this article today and was shocked to read it.  How dare health care professionals move the goalposts and put a price on our children's heads.  The fact is that we all pay our taxes and so we should be able to receive the treatment we pay for.  Many IVF patients have been through the trauma of illnesses such as cancer, cardiac and renal issues which is why these people need IVF in the first place.  It is an important part of complete palliative care.  We are selling these people short and that situation could happen to anybody, either yourself, your kids, siblings or close friends.  It is a truly devastating  and isolating situation to have to face. 

Turner's Syndrome Awareness Monday 6th June 2011

Right chaps.  Today is our day.  Wear purple with pride and lets raise awareness about TS!!

Play Script

I've never mentioned this in my blog, but I am an actress/drama teacher.  I guess because I am so small (4ft 8, 1m44cm) I have never been cast as a maternal type character.  However, for a workshop I am attending on Tuesday, I have to read this 90 page script and the protagonist is a photographer who has been beaten by her on/off boyfriend and she discovers she is pregnant.  Jesus, now this is a toughie.  As an actress, I have to pretend that I have been in all sorts of situations, but being a pregnant woman is so far from anything I can imagine that I worry that any mother watching would instantly know that I am childless.  Many actors can empathise with most situations that crop up in scripts but because this issue is so close to home I would find it really hard. It is also because it is so primeval, it can be so easily detected.  I am actually feeling slightly nervous.  The character is very happy, so I guess I will just have to imagine what it would be like to take a pregnancy test and get a positive.  Just writing that has made my fingers tingle.  IF has even affected my job.

National Family Week

As it is half term it is National Family Week. It says ' National Family Week is also part of the new website www.familytime.co.uk, a one stop destination for families with children of all ages'. 
I think that is rather tasteful as it is rather inclusive.  Even though I sadly don't have children of my own, I guess I am my parents daughter and I am a DIL too, so I still count...lol.  Families come in all shapes and sizes.  The aim of this campaign is to raise awareness of issues that affect families in 2011 e.g. the recession, work-life balance etc.  These issues affect single people and couples too. I haven't seen much advertising about this but hey, the date to remember is Monday 6th June.  It is Turner's Syndrome Awareness Day. Wear purple with pride!!!!!

The In-laws

Hi guys,

Bit of a delicate one here.  Over the weekend I went to see DH family.  I have always had a good relationship with them.  My pregnant SIL came over and I even had a decent chat to her, albeit, not about the baby.  I did feel a little upset when DH asked her a couple of questions like 'Can you feel the baby move? I wish he could see that I don't see that as him just taking an interest but transferring feelings to an outlet, if you catch my drift.  I felt deflated that there is no chance of him feeling our baby kick. I also chocked when my MIL grabbed the bump and spoke to it.  She even kissed her grandson's picture. 
Today was hard because on our way home my MIL saw a cute baby in a pram and said to me 'I want a cute baby from you too!!!!'  WTF.  OK I never talk about my IF, but that really grated me, if only it was that easy.  My DH told me to cut her some slack because she is very ill and is on medication that makes her rather lucid verbally, and her appointment this morning hadn't gone well.  Furthermore, we met BIL/SIL and baby for lunch and naturally MIL cooed over him and the conversation was pretty baby based.  Then, SIL sisters kids arrived and DH was playing with them, that really hurt as I would love to see him play with our kids one day. 
The icing on the cake came when my mum texted me asking if I had spoken to my pregnant sister recently.  COME ON!!!  I am meant to make the effort to swallow my pride and discuss a topic that is so far from me that I would struggle when they have made no effort to cross the same line and comfort me? Why is my TS and IF considered so far down the scale that I don't require support myself.  Actually, I do!
On the plus side, yesterday, I had a lovely day at the zoo and I cuddled a rat and stroked goats, pigs, sheep and cows.  I also saw my favourite animal, the pygmy marmoset....cute xx