Friday 19 August 2011

Grrr....trying not to rant but I have to...(trying for a baby mentioned)

Hi guys,

I am really trying not to rant here but I was so mad I have to say this.  I went to the hairdressers this morning, and I noticed that there were four new baby prams in the window...strange!!!  The wash bay assistant said that the main hairdresser's mum runs her own business selling that type of thing.  I actually impressed myself by being really calm and having a baby conversation with her as I was being served....whoopee (and I was hormonal).  Anyhow, The hairdresser took over and started by saying that her belly button ring had become infected and she had to remove it because she was 'trying' and it could cause damage.  Now, this is the same woman who left the salon twice to smoke during the space of my hour long appointment.  Jesus woman, does she not realise that she could be pregnant and it is during the first couple of cell divisions after conception that serious damage can be done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow rant over. 
Just to let you guys know that I am on holiday now and will be back on Monday 29th August.
xx

Wednesday 10 August 2011

Feeling Unsupported by my Mum (pregnancy mentioned).

Tonight my Mum rang to find out how we coped throughout the London riots.  We were in the thick of it and I had to flee work as I received a warning that a 200 strong gang who had just set a mall ablaze were heading my way.  I hadn't even relayed the whole story when she proceeded to change the subject to my sister's pregnancy.  She had a scan today and found out that she should be having a boy and she wanted my help choosing names.  I was gobsmacked.  My mother sat with me when I was diagnosed and saw my reaction.  Has she forgotten what I went through?  Well I haven't, I have to deal with this for the rest of my life.  My mum then wanted to discuss dates as my sister is due at Xmas, they want to fly in from abroad "to be with her but it would be nice to see me too".  I feel so glad to be their afterthought.  Am I that insignificant now because I can't give her a grandchild?  

Friday 5 August 2011

Day 142-Fertility Doctor Follow-up Appointment (Part 2)

It has suddenly struck me that on January 4th I don't just find out our test results but we find out if we are suitable for any form of IVF and pregnancy.  I never realised how important that is. xx

Day 142-Fertility Doctor Follow-up Appointment

Woohoo!  Got my follow-up appointment for the Assisted Conception Unit for January 4th!!!!!  Just waiting for my scan date xx

Wednesday 3 August 2011

Day 140- First Appointment in Assisted Conception Unit

Firstly I have to say a really big thank-you to several readers who sent their best wishes for today's appointment.  Your kind words of support mean a lot to us. 
Well, I was seriously bricking it today.  I was so nervous.  In the waiting room there at least five couples and a couple of women who came alone.  Seeing that picture made me wonder how many of us will eventually have families.  The woman who went in before us came out looking rather serious.  Unfortunately we sat in the boiling waiting room for 1hr 30mins before we were called.  I was weighed and measured.  This was quite stressful lol....as last year I had lost 8kg and I had put 3kg back on so I am now 47.5kg with a BMI of 22.5.  We were asked the usual questions, age, how long we had been together, smoking and drinking etc.  It was then explained that our options are 1) DE IVF, 2) IVF hopefully with my own eggs (but this is a long shot), or 3) adoption. 
The doctor proposed that I have a uterine scan, an AMH level blood test to see what my hormone levels are like and if the score is good possibly a subsequent dye test to check my gynaecological health. DH has to provide a sample too.  I had the blood test and we are now waiting for my scan date and follow on appointment with the ACU.  
Later on it really hit me that by having that blood test I had gone through the first discomfort for my child and I was fine with it.  It was the first sacrifice I had made for our baby....wow. 

Tuesday 2 August 2011

Day 139-Pre Fertility Doctor Appointment Nerves and Questions

Well at 1.30pm, I received my courtesy call from the hospital about tomorrow's appointment.  I can't believe that this is happening. I am finding it rather scary to say the least.  I feel relaxed that I am 31yrs old and we have decided to get the ball rolling now so we have a lot of living to do and preparations to make before any child arrives.  I am just worrying about what could happen.  I would imagine that the doctor will look at my notes and arrange the appropriate medical tests to see if I am even illegible to have IVF.  I am scared to think what they may find.  What if I am not suitable?  This will certainly turn the tables.  We will have to think about what our options will be.  Even though I have known about my TS for so long, I will find it hard to hear the reality of my reproductive health system.  I don't know how healthy I am down there, there are going to be some difficult home truths.
To prepare myself, I have thought of some questions I want to ask.
1) Will I have to take any meds, if so, what are the side effects?
2) How easy will it be to find a matching egg donor?
3) Do we tell our child about how they were conceived?
4) What happens in the procedure?
5) Are there likely to be delivery complications?

I spoke with DH and he seems chilled about it all.  He did look a bit uncomfortable when I told him that at some point he will have to give a sperm sample and he may be required to lose weight...bless him..lol xx