This is rather a retrospective post as the described events happened three and a half weeks ago. I had to go to Queen Mary's Hospital in Roehampton for my annual TS checkup and I also had my ECG as I have a heart murmur. I was really nervous as I was going to ask my consultant about receiving help conceiving. There were many thoughts running through my mind that day. I felt doubtful. Even though I really know that I want to have children one day, I just feel that as DEIVF is practically our only option, it seems a good idea to try now or risk losing out as many clinics don't treat after the patient is 34yrs old.. It would have been nice to wait a few years, but we know we now don't have that luxury. We have both decided to take it as it comes as we really don't want this to take over our lives. We really feel that we just want to give it a go so we don't ask 'What if?', later on. We are really trying to achieve as much as we can in our lives right now because our career paths are so unstable (I am an actress and my husband 'D' is a musician). I actually don't believe I just wrote that but I think it is important to show that this journey is not simple and those feelings are valid. I guess it is because I have so many questions.
Anyhow, back to the appointment. My consultant there has always been fantastic and I have always had the full gamete of tests e.g. ECG, weight tests, BMD etc to ensure my full well being. I entered the room with a sense of intrepidation. I sat down and he reeled off the good news that I was as fit as a fiddle and all was well...hoooooraaaaay!!!! I swallowed and plucked up the courage, and I asked 'My husband and I are interested in investigating our IVF options'. He smiled and looked through my notes. My heart seemed ok. Check. My tablets were giving me a monthly withdrawal bleed. Check (TMI). The chances are I would need a uterine scan but he said he would speak to the GYN/OBS consultant for us. As I left the building with my routine checkup appointment for next year I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I had done it. I had asked for help. Maybe that's what the nerves were. I had previously never spoken about this issue which I find so deeply humiliating. It felt great. Let the waiting game start!!
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