Welcome

Hello and welcome to my new blog.  I am a bit of a technocripple but I can't believe that I have created this little diary.

Here goes, the story so far.  When I was about ten years old, I began to notice that all the other girls were beginning to look very different to me. They were developing lady lumps and curves whilst I was as scrawny as a chicken.  Naturally, this meant that the others were going through puberty and I was not.  I try and rationalise this next statement as my body screaming that something was very wrong, but I kept dreaming that I was sitting on a sofa and I was telling a young man that I couldn't have children so the ball was in his court, if he love me, I would stay.  Between the ages of 12-15yrs old, I went to my GP on several occasions to say that things weren't happening.  However, I was 16yrs old when I saw a female locum and within minutes she realised that I hadn't grown in four years.  I was instantly referred to the hospital for blood tests that confirmed that I had Turner's Syndrome, a chromosome disorder that means the sufferer is infertile and is effectively menopausal.  I will never forget being told the news and crying hysterically in the consultant's room.  I went out for pizza with my mum but we couldn't eat, now that was a first. 

This issue has affected my life in many ways.  I am tiny, only 144cm (4ft 8in), with awful co-ordination and slight numeric and spacial awareness issues.  However, I got through school, university and drama school well.  I am now a teacher and actress in London.  I am very happily married to a lovely man and until rather recently the infertility issue never really figured as we have been working, socialising and generally being young.  Now we are in our thirties and infertility is now rearing its head.  I thought I had no options as adoption could be difficult as many agencies won't accept people who have issues with major organs (I have a heart murmur).  IVF with egg donation is an option but it is high risk for people in my situation, firstly because the rigours of a pregnancy could play havoc with my heart and also my kidneys (which also have problems).  I also have ethical and emotional issues.  Can I cope emotionally with the fact that any child that I carry won't be genetically mine?  I will never look into my child's face and see my eyes or nose etc, but I will see my husband which will be a wonderful feeling.  How would I tell my child about how they came to be?  This question may perhaps be answered by this blog and subsequent guide.  I want this blog to be a legacy, whatever the outcome. 
We are now in the present day and at my last annual TS endocrinology appointment I made a formal request with the fertility specialist.  On Wednesday 23rd March 2011 our journey from barren to baby started.